The World Curling Federation is askingth at all curlers contribute to less green house gas emissions by refraining from farting on the ice during their games.
9. Your skip keeps saying, "Nice try!"
8. Your opposition starts hanging its score on the next sheet.
7. While you're in the washroom, your team-mates sneak away to the bar.
6. The Ice-maker starts heckling you.
5. It's only the third end and already you owe your team-mates six drinks.
4. Your opposition is lying four and your skip wants you to throw your rock through the house.
3. You throw out your knee in the first end and your team-mates don't even notice.
2. Your sweepers burst into laughter when you release your rock.
1. You score an eight-ender in the second end and you have to throw your last rock to win 9-8.
ADVENT: What a curler calls his rant about the repeat Season of Champions television commercials.
LABOUR DAY: The day you pick to have your baby so it doesn't interfere with curling season.
An elderly Italian-Canadian Man took his grandson to see Italy play Canada at the Worlds this year. At one point the young boy says to his grandfather in regards to Gaspari's team "Grandpa do you know what they are saying?", to which the Grandfather replied "No one can understand Women's Curling."
We played another mime team curling team of rookies. We tried to give them advice but they told us to mime our own business.
Our mine team scored an 8 ender. We were speechless.
Our mime skip could make amazing shots but was inconsistent. We thought about firing him but a mime is a terrible thing to waste.
One of my mime teammates farted on the ice. It was silent but deadly.
My skip is a mine. After losing the game he gave us the silent treatment.
I played against a team of mimes.They killed is with quiet weight.
If a mime curler falls on the ice can anyone hear?
A team of mimes made it to the Brier. They lost every game. They didn't make much noise.
After a bonspiel game at a large athletic complex I had to go to the bathroom. My team was sitting with our opposition and my skip was beside the opposing skip.
Our skip had had a rough game to say the least - he just couldn't make the shots all game.
When I exited the washroom lo and behold I spied an empty Fed Ex box. I took it to the athletic complex reception desk and asked the nice lady if I could borrow a marker and tape. I taped shut the box and inscribed my skips name on the package.
I scurried back to the lounge where my skip and our opponent were dissecting the game we had just lost. I interrupted them as I threw the Fed Ex box on the table in front of my skip.
"What's this?" my skipper asked.
Quickly I replied: "Fed Ex just delivered your out turn."